Sunday, January 30, 2011

How I wish...

... that all people were like these guys. This is how you create a better world, please be one of us.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Conclusions of my Czech adventures

After spending some months in the lovely city of Prague I have lost about 10kg on a healthy diet of beer, strip clubs and McDonald´s. Goes to show you that a person can live on crappy food, alcohol, tobacco and erotic’s and still lose weight.

I bet they didn´t tell you that at the doctors when you were asking for “tha operation”.

I also meet a lot of great people from all over the world, some I will definitely stay in touch with.

Of course bad things happened to, some I´ve already mentioned and I won´t go back to that or throw crap at anything else that occurred. Let´s just say that shit happens – life sucks and then you die.

Prague is a very expensive city actually, and the strippers will rob you blind with their succulent eyes, so be careful if you ever go there.

I know some of you expected a more in-depth story, but I leave that for another day…

Friday Rant

As you, my faithful reading morons know by now anyone can buy magic beans and grow a money tree in the backyard. All one has to do is to borrow money and print even more money and shiny happy people will blissfully dance around the beanstalk. So we were told by our lords and their bought and paid for storytellers, and now this story from the souring high’s of the roach cliff is reaching its crescendo.

America’s unemployment is going down. So they solemnly declare. World trade is picking up speed again. So they argue. Japans economy looks better. They write in every paper. The recession has left the building. They shout from the roof tops. We saved you with more loans, with more regulations, with our hilarious printing machine and an army of Obamanites. So we are told by every elected charlatan.

It is possible that your sockpuppet of love would agree if you asked during a lonely night of affectional rubbing to an old episode of Teletubbies, but otherwise this story belongs in the dark basement of a 19th century asylum.

All the scams, the derivatives, the debt-mountains, the inflationary policies and Sarah Fucking Palin is about to hit the world in a financial shit storm without precedent. Since this is a fact, not an opinion, I cannot help myself feeling like I am watching the prelude right now. What I refer to is the growing tension we can see in many countries. Not just in Greece, the UK or in Spain were strikes seem to be more frequent than seeing Goldman Sachs buying and selling fake assets. And not just in Hungary and Russia where gypsies and ‘dark skinned’ Tjetjenians are being openly blamed for unemployment and killed for being different (feels familiar?). But also in several Muslim countries were Tunisia (yeah, strange…) seem to have ignited a fire among youngsters, teens and Arabians wanting to unleash their Jasmine tea.

One Mosque, One vote! - They shout from the streets while being clobbered by government thugs. Western media seem to think it’s a democratic uprising going on, and although that may be the case in some areas or in the head of many, the actual masters of the stone throwers are seldom that egalitarian by nature.

In Egypt our friendly neighborhood dictator is Mubarak. He´s America’s Puppet Dictator so of course the Obamination and his cronies refuse to side with the protesters. No surprise there. Slaughtering a couple of millions of Muslims over the past decade kind of make the U.S. side with anyone willing to buy their guns. However if Mubarak would be overthrown could we expect a benign humanist taking over? Of course not. In all likelihood an even worse regime would step in.

The people demonstrating are not only asking for “democracy” (if we are nice in our interpretation), they are also asking for jobs, food and better living conditions. As always people in large groups have a collective morality – that is to say they totally lack in morals. This means that any smug well-spoken person with hysterical – and very easy – solutions will find himself grasping the throne. I can only guess that IF the protesters in Egypt would succeed their next leadership will find a scape-goat (Somalians, Christians, or whatnot), blame the U.S. for everything, and speak of ancient times looking to revitalize Egyptian glory with a bigger army and several new statues.

And this little chain of events, that we´ve seen so many times before, is what is facing pretty much every country out there within the coming years.

Take a look around you.

Take a big hard look and go back a couple of years and think about what actually happened.

Remember how the powers that be argued? Remember how our masters of despair said they would save us? They said they needed to borrow, print and spent trillions upon trillions in order to bring order back in the economy and jobs to all.

What they actually did was that they borrowed, printed and spent trillions on banks and financial institutes. Our elected criminal’s have comrades in crime and they were the beneficiaries, not you who actually paid for this robbery. They took your savings, they mortgaged your kids and grandkids and they passed on the inflationary bill to all underlings while they feasted on their buffet of newly printed notes.

Now when we can all see that this trickery didn´t work, what are they doing and saying?

Now they need to save money. Austerity measures they are called.

And who is paying for it? AGAIN!?

You are. You idiot.

Politicians will of course make a slim gesture of disgust whenever we hear about the billions of bonuses the elitists are giving themselves, but since the politicians are the ones actually handing that cash over they don´t want you to pay too much attention to such stories. It’s all about greed you know. Not to worry. Move right along. Nothing to see.

In the meanwhile the clampdown on the free society continues. Those horrid MuslimhackerterroristPedophiles are seemingly everywhere looking to blow us and our beautiful democracy apart while raping our kids and hacking into our bank accounts. To me this is also part of the prelude. They cannot leave internet and phones alone when potential rebellions are just around the corner. This is the real reason for the fascist monitoring systems that are popping up everywhere.

So your government is preparing for what’s to come. You should do the same. Guns, walkie-talkies, sugar and porn magazines should be on your list of items for that fortress of solitude you should retreat to together with similar minded.

A couple of years from now you´ll understand exactly why I was giving you this advice, but even more importantly; you will understand why I am laughing at your misery and dying corps. You didn´t listen.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

A little rambling

They always have been and always will be. The sort of people who want to control everything by central diktat and form a world of clones who will behave as directed.

Fortunately, they are not very bright. They always, always, fuck up everything they try to do. Unfortunately they do manage to murder millions as they head for their fall. Sadly (or according to me; hilariously funny) having such people in charge today would more than likely be far, far worse. Remember that mantra repeated by the warmonger W-chimp and his band of marry Americanos with trigger happy fingers? Weapons of mass destruction... oh yeah...

Anyone with a decent amount of cash and IQ above that of a carrot can get hold of chemical or biological things of the deadly kind today. Probably not in amounts enough and with the spread to kill people by the tens of thousands, but still not really hard to get hold of. And nukes? Please. The only problem is to get hold of the material, after that there are millions of people who knows how to make tha BomB. Not to mention that most governments and states already have them or can easily acquire some of needed.

So why is this little notion important?

Well, remember what happened the last time we had a major financial disaster? No? You know those funny little guys with hysterical solutions to a hysterical populace? I keep telling you that this time around the financial calamities are much, much worse. And if so, what do you think will happen to Ze World this time?

Okay, if you're reading this then porn and games are not your only Internet interests. You will be aware of the riots all over the place, including in London, Greece. You will also be aware that this is going to get worse. Much, Much, Much worse. Did you notice Japans economic aid promise towards Europe? How funny that is since Japan is sinking down into oblivion at the moment. And the deep chasm that is the PIGS and all the rest that will follow, can it get more hysterical? Never before in history have so many borrowed so much and got so little out of it, and never before in history have so few men created such an pile of crap that will embrace everyone on this planet.

Believe me, hundred years from now they will write essays, make movies and tell horror stories about what we are living through right now.
The financial wave of utter despair is almost here, are you ready? 

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

You are going to die! Part XXXV

Sometimes people, who should die, don’t. Even sadder when people who want to die and actually try to end their miserable existence, but fail. Like this guy. I mean come on. Not only did he fail in the simplest of tasks, apparently he also tried it before. This is the very essence if failure isn’t it?

I cannot think of anything as pathetic and depressing as trying to commit suicide and fail at it.

And so let me give you some pointers.

First of all, why do you actually want to stay alive? Having fun are we? Think about it for a moment. Have you accomplished anything during your life on this planet? Is it really a good place? How about the starving? The wars? Terrorism? Al Gore? Is that really the sort of stuff that makes you wanna go on living? And how about your own existence. Most of you out there don’t make a real go at it. You sit around eating processed food and watch the latest reality show while politicians rule you supreme and the banking cartels are stealing all your earnings. Don´t you feel depressed? You should, most of you seem to be nibbling on happy pills nowadays. Have a job? Is it fun? Do you really feel you get paid enough? Got raped? Robbed? Have your kid been molested lately?

Aren´t you a little afraid of things? Afraid of swine flu? Alien invasions? And aren´t those kids down the corner doing drugs and so will soon stop by to rob and kill you? How about water? Scary stuff yes. Bees? Open spaces? You know what to do to never be afraid anymore…

Even those of you out there with decent living that never really had any personal catastrophes happen to you – don´t you feel that cancer creeping up? AIDS? You are going to die you know, all of us are, sooner or later, and it can happen at any time. Did you see that truck? If you had walked by the same spot 15sec earlier you´d be dead. Falling popsicles can kill you, insects to, and did you know that the most dangerous place in existence is the very place you lay your hat – your own home. It’s true. A majority of all rapes and all accidents happens within the confines of our homes. It is also one of the things that is likely to kill you. Falling down the stairs, tripping in the shower or choking on an ice-cube when no one is around to help is just some of the million and one ways you could die at home.

Just face it – you are a tiny being living on a tiny planet in the corner of one of billions of galaxies and you live a very short insignificant life that will have no impact whatsoever on a messed up universe. So why go on in the first place? For your kids? Pfffff… if you are so evil that you bring kids into this world, you should die.

With that said I hope I have convinced some of you morons to end a pitiful existence, so let’s also make you aware of some of the best ways to start pushing up daisies.

One good way of making sure of your demise is if you do it with a combination of several things. If you, for example, climb up on that ledge, before you jump make sure you have cut the wrists and nibbled on enough pills to make an elephant drop, then you put a gun to your head so when you pull the trigger your body falls down towards the street. If you survive something like that, bravo, kudos really. Sainthood should be coming your way from the Catholic Church and/or maybe you just discovered that you are a mutant superhero.

Another thing that I just popped into my mind is decapitation. It is hard to go on living without a head attached. There are many ways of sever a head from the body. A sawmill have lots of options, and so does many industries.

How about moving to a small village in Afghanistan, dress as the locals, get up on stilts and call yourself Bin Laden? Or join up with the tens of thousands of refugees fleeing inside Pakistan. US bomb planes and drones will probably find you sooner or later. Make sure to stand next to children and families, apparently a sure way of getting killed by trigger happy Americans.

Whatever your choice, make sure to plan it carefully. If you fail at killing yourself, not only have you discovered another thing you suck at, it would also be really, really pathetic. Do it, just do it, and do it properly thank you.

Me? I love living and would never do anything as stupid as kill myself and as an atheist I will try to make the best of the only life I have. But for most of you, I recommend it, you keep voting for the same gramscofabianazis that will eventually kill you anyway, so why not do it yourself?

Saturday, January 1, 2011

A couple of Prague updates

I still have no computer and apparently fixing the crappy one I have cost almost as much as buy a new one so it will take me a while to be up and running as usual. To my dear readers this may be catastrophic, idiots as most of you are, but I´ve almost told everything needed to be said already. Go back and read. Not much time left now until you will all die horrendously, or eat your young because of starvation or laugh all day if you own certain banks.

Recently I´ve encountered very strange beings, presumably humanoid, crossing my path around the city of Prague. Firstly - I was opening up my window one day in order to inhale the fresh air (with a pack of Camel) when I noticed an old lady walking down the road. I live in a pretty crappy neighborhood with lots of apartments and the area I am about to describe is in the open, fully visible from hundreds of windows. Anyway the old hag in question stopped in the middle of the road, took a couple of steps aside, put down her walking cane and a bag of something, so I was thinking: what the hell is she doing? Next she took another couple of steps aside, away from the cane she didn´t look like she could walk without, pulls down her pants and started doing what in America is usually referred to as number 2… Needless to say I closed my window, sat down on my bed and waited until the ordeal was over…

If you think that was a weird encounter I need to tell you about this very tall, very thin running man coming up against me with a huge French hot dog in his hand. The guy was holding it out like those people carrying the Olympic torch, he run past me and throws the wiener, with bread and all, in a bin by the road, he turns around, comes up by me again and with long running steps he runs towards the fast food place I presumed he just left and with John Cleese–like maneuvers he seem to salute the place and is then talking in Czech… possibly to order another one for is asylum adventures…

But the price for the week go to a lady walking up next to me one day when I was out walking. She said something in Czech, I had no idea what so I told her, in English, that I don´t speak Czech. She mumbles on so I try asking her to speak Spanish, Swedish, or German or even bloody French so I can get what she is saying. She seems very adamant and slightly upset so I am guessing I just walked against a red light or something, so I actually want her to tell me what’s up. The third time I ask her to speak in a language that actually makes sense, she flinches, start touching her body and her eyes start to roll around in her head. She actually turns white and makes this gurgling sound that I associate with dying film actresses. So I am, trained nurse and very familiar with CPR as I am, posed to rush over to her and save her from her handbag and jewelry and to then calmly walk away. Suddenly she flinches again, looks at me with a strange face, like she sees me for the first time, then she start to walking very fast away from me, across the street, always checking were I am, like I was the lunatic...

Well, welcome to Prague, the city of porn stars (seen several in the Metro already…) and bunches of fucking crazies…