Monday, April 4, 2011

You are going to die! Part XL

Don´t strain yourself

During a visit to the unmentionable room doing the number two thingy I had a thought. What if my sphincter isn´t game for the day and make me work for really hard for those splashes and what if during such an arduous exercise I end up pushing my limit too far and have an aneurysm?

This is not an uncommon event.

In fact this way of getting maggots nibbling on your decaying flesh is much more common than you may think. And it can actually kill you in several ways. Firstly defecation (what a lovely word...) causes the blood pressure to rise, and if it rises fast enough it can cause the rupture of an aneurysm or to it can dislodge blood clots. Also, in terminating waste products, blood pressure can fall; this, often coupled with standing up quickly to leave the toilet, can result in fainting which in turn can make you hit your head in the bowl and/or maybe end up inside drowning you in your sleep.

This isn´t really my favorite way of dying so I have just now developed a slim phobia, and considering eating better to make the process go smoother.

Anyway, this got me thinking about my own mortality and how I am most likely to die.

According to statistics I´ll probably end up dying from a heart attack or liver failure. It is also possible that a car will run me over while I am stumbling down the street going home from the pub. Another reasonable assumption would be death by government – something that is most likely to kill most people out there. I cannot really see myself getting ripped into pieces by a hippo, getting stung by murderous bees or dying from old age. And I have a hard time picturing my corps being covered by lava-flow or eaten by a shark. Nah, more than likely, looking at my life and living, I´ll contribute to the ever increasing death toll that comes with too much fat and alcohol.

Every life, every day, is in danger. That’s just life. There are more ways of dying than I can ever mention on this blog, it would simply take too long to list it. Basically anything and everything around you may hold the key to your demise. It is much easier mentioning what cannot or will not kill… which is… nothing..? I cannot think of anything that wouldn´t kill. Can you?

We should all consider our own mortality now and again because if you´re not careful something or someone will, one day, when you least expect it, end that miserable existence. Watch out, be careful, don´t do anything remotely dangerous, you may die…