Saturday, July 10, 2010

Out running

Went for a jog this morning. I am starting to get that breathing going and my knees seem to hold, however, that’s not really the story.

Firstly you gotto know I do run with my MP3 on high volume and this is ancient wilderness, way out there were no-one except hunters and the occasional bear or wolf running past you.

Anyway, about 5min into my exercise I suddenly felt pain down by my ankle and for some reason two bees found it amusing sacrificing their lives to puncture two holes in my body. Two nice little holes conveniently apart down by my ankle. It looked like Ashley Greene (I wish) has nibbled on my feet. A couple of other bees I found attached to my shirt probably not able to penetrate it into my skin. But I did get stung in the back a couple of times so at least some poison was running through my veins.

I did keep running along though. Wouldn’t let any minor suicide insects ruin my road to lesser fat around the waist. Sadly I should have because just around the bend I stumbled upon a man and his dog. They were trapped in some kind of play with the man holding the dog from behind in a compromising position and for a moment it looked… suspicious… Even more interesting the man was a splitting image of the now resigned Swedish Minister of Labor. You know, the guy with the pants-problem, the one making the best out of immoral liaisons, he who exchanged both wife and a ‘hands-on’ approach for hookers. But then I remembered that his clientele is of the younger sort and as far as I know dogs never entered into the picture. And what would that criminal doing way out in the wilderness anyway?

That shock came and went pretty fast but it still got my heart pumping an extra beat so when a couple of mountain bikers swooshed by me moments later the heart attack cannot have been far away.

As I said, this is nowhere. Normally it is far more likely literally bumping into a moose than seeing a person. But for some reason this day the road was littered with them. People that is…

Standing there feeling like I’ve just run a marathon instead of just ten minutes I suddenly see some woman shaped objects up ahead. Two or three of them it seemed. Any man that has ever been running would admit - under torture - that during such a workout he will always run faster, longer, with a straighter back and try to look as comfortable as possible whenever encountering a female. It never fails. Heart failure be damned.

Doing so this time could very well have led to my undoing. You see it wasn’t three females, not even two of them. Only one. She was female I do think, however the ripple effects on her body from each step she took made her look strangely blobish. I was like seeing a huge ball of fat forcing its way through the forest. A hideous force of nature that wouldn’t (couldn’t) stop for anything.

At this point I had two main concerns. First, get the hell out of the way. If ever getting caught in front of or in the wake of such a beast – that’s it. No coming back. Secondly, something was seriously wrong with me. Sure it’s very hot and humid, I got poison in me and I just got scared by mountain bikers and a “sex-crazed minister”, but come on. How did I turn one toddling obese Medusa into three lush hot running females!?

To be fair seeing a zeppelin that should be hovering over a stadium walking in the forest were no-one normally goes is a complete mystery in itself, but that doesn’t explain my mirage.

I think I will blame another woman. I’m starting to see females again (been totally uninterested for years) and the only reason I can think of is that this particular one have come into my life again. Nothing else has changed. Not that there’s something going on or anything, but sometimes one incredibly beautiful woman can, only by existing, make your senses come alive again. Standing there thinking that I’ve figured it out I almost forgot to sidestep and jump far into the bushes, but I did survive, evidently. However, the run was ruined. I’ll take another one tomorrow instead…

Friday, July 9, 2010

Bought a prostitute you say?

Minister eh? I’m sorry, that’s extra.

I love the smell of Swedish politicians burning in the morning - it smells like victory.

I do not believe that buying and selling sex should be illegal. Whatever people do with their own bodies and money is their business. And so the act of going to a prostitute is in my mind nothing to be ashamed of and it is certainly not something to be convicted for.

However, when you do so while having a family with kids and a wife I can sort of feel you’re a morally dubious character. If at the same time your day job is being a politician in a government that is “tough on crime” and have fascist ideas of outing even suspecting ‘criminals’ and bring back medieval punishments, well then I start to see a problem.

But worst of all if you after being confronted with evidence of such a ‘crime’ resign as minister but blame your resignation on journalists while you’re crying over how bad it is for your kids being mentioned in the media, well then you should get crucified. Literally. Using your kids to cover up a story is low, very slimy low.

The Swedish ex minister in question have some problems comes to keeping his willy tucked away. This is in no way a secret. Many within his own party have known about some of his exploits for a long time. Maybe they didn’t know about him running to prostitutes, but it shouldn’t come as a surprise either.

Almost to a day one year ago I wrote this post about the lavish happening out on a Swedish island were politicians and their hang-around criminals feast on your money. (Same thing is going on right now.) In it I hinted, as I’ve done on several other occasions, about certain individuals. Among other things I wrote:

“I have read text messages from high up politicians to underage girls containing words that would make the local hooker look Amish. There were at least two times I lifted up my baseball bat in order to put some serious hurt on some abusive fuck, both times the girls in question stopped me not wanting the publicity.”

In the light of day and with the smell of a certain person getting outed for some lesser ‘crime’ today – draw your own conclusions…

To me however the most interesting thing is how the fascist Minister of (in)Justice will react to this “news”. Her pal and leftie companion is obviously a ‘criminal’ and, according to her, one of the worst scumbags on the planet that should be running gauntlets getting beaten by clubs and spitted at. And he has kids. I don’t know if the fascist Minister of (in)Justice knew about the sexual exploits of the former minister, but I can say for certain many up on high did. Maybe not details or how bad some of his sexual prowling have been, but they knew about some of it. Hopefully the papers will bring forth some of that knowledge and more heads will roll.

In the meantime I’ll watch some porn thinking of movie titles like “The Minister of Sex”; “Keep it in your pants Minister”; “I worked on my back for the Minister of labor”; “Politicians of Erotica”; “Yes Mr minister sir”...

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Golf – a sex metaphor

Where do you want us to stick this?

Were out playing some miniature golf today and as always I start thinking about the sticks, hitting balls and those tiny holes the balls are supposed to penetrate. Then, of course, you pick up the ball and start over again - swinging the stick trying to score.

You also have wet and sandy obstacles you’re supposed to avoid, but inevitably one or two balls end up there getting (evidently) wet and sandy in the process. There are also bushes, some trimmed, some not.

The main theme of this particular miniature golf course(s) seemed to be the sea. It is located in a small harbor, it had anchors and such attached the holes. And the sea is travelled by seaman…

I cannot be the only one seeing the obvious point and history behind this sport?

According to the most widely accepted account the modern game originated in Scotland around the 12th century, with shepherds knocking stones into rabbit holes on the current site of the Old Course at St Andrews. Although the origin of golf is debatable (I lean towards the Roman explanation myself) the Scots seem to have invented the more modern style of play. And as we all know there’s not much to do in rainy Scotland except waging war, getting drunk and copulation. So if the wives are pissed with the men fighting and drinking all the time, what to do for the men but invent the perfect metaphor for sexual intercourse? And so Golf is played on "courses”…

And in the absence of female companionship we don’t need geniuses to explain why golfers use many types of clubs, attempt to hit balls into each hole on a golf course while employing the fewest number of strokes.

Although, it seem kind of contrary don’t it? “The fewest number of strokes”… shouldn’t it actually be the “most strokes”? I mean if you need the practice or want to go home and please the misses to show her what she’s turning away, isn’t more strokes the way to go? Or is this why those bagpipes came into play?

Anyway, ending up last behind two females in today’s game I sort of conjured up pride from this thought process. Apparently I need many strokes… On the other hand, I had problems finding the holes…

Is this why lesser strokes during your time on the course is a good thing? Finding the right hole with few tries?

What if I don’t wanna find the “right” hole?

Golf is a stupid game and women shouldn’t play it…

What if women had invented it? Would it then been more like throwing rings over a post? Whatever your take I am thinking it would have been more violent. Imagine sex deprived loony Scottish women pissed at their men creating a game. It wouldn’t be a pretty sight… But at least then the headline news wouldn’t be Tiger banging hookers while the useless idiots of the press ignores that the world is going down the crapper with financial Armageddon lurking behind the corner.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The destroyers are at it again

The Swedish central bank has decided to raise its key interest rate by 0.25 percentage points to 0.5 percent. This is a continuation of the Faustian deal the four-winged soul suckers at the central bank have been up to lately.

You see first they lowered interest rates down to zero in order to inflate the housing bubble and keep spending up (debt, debt, debt...). At the same time they threw 200 billion at the commercial banks, just for the fun of it and for the reason of increasing inflation. With this they have practically destroyed what was left of the economic fundaments. Now, just as the world is about to go of the deep-end and the depression is gaining momentum again they increase interest rates. Presumably to increase fluctuations - which is a good thing for big banks and certain shadowy groups but is horrible for the common man. Then they can lower the rates again when the depression wave hits and it looks like they are actually doing something.

Well, yes they are, they are destroying our future.

These people should be on the very top on your hit-list.

Comes the future and you’re roaming the countryside looking for food and work and feeling delusional and angry. Well, then it is the central bank people that should be the first ones you think of. Politicians in general and the useless zombies of the press should also be on your mind.

And please remember to mark any graves so the rest of us know where to stop for a piss and a little jig.

More incidents that didn’t happen

As I’ve said a couple of times now No-one in Sweden has a gun ‘cos they are outlawed. We all know that if you outlaw something then criminals will always listen, right?

So when you read about two people getting gunned down in the middle of the town of Södertälje yesterday, it didn’t really happen. Eddie Moussa, a player with Swedish second division football club Assyriska was one of the two men that didn’t get shot dead. And so his club hasn’t cancelled their next match….

There are shootings in Sweden every single day. EVERY DAY!

Most of the time it is criminals shooting at other criminals, but not always. Families do get destroyed, homes wrecked and fear spreads.

And fear is what government wants. If we feel afraid we want government to protect us. The more afraid we are, the more laws, the more police and the more the war on crimes becomes everyone’s business.

They want us afraid and defenseless in addition to being outgunned and outnumbered. This is how they rule and this is why we don’t have gun-rights.

Isn’t it time for criminals to feel fear instead of us? Shouldn’t a rapist be wondering whether or not you’re carrying a gun? Wouldn’t it be better if government thought twice before imposing a law against an armed populace instead of doing whatever they want?

Free people own guns, slaves don’t.