Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A highroad to hell

$787 billion spending spree without any kind of thought and the money mainly spent on useless things that will do nothing good to the economy isn’t enough. Now U.S. House of Representatives Speaker Nancy Pelosi is saying there might be another “stimulus” in the near future. The first nifty little idiocy together with the evil bitch monster from hell’s suggestion is unheard of in history. But there is apparently still some ink in the printing machine. They are printing fictive money and borrowing on the backs of their own children! And US together with the rest of the world will suffer severely for it. United States are heading into deep deep socialism and are going so fast forward that it’s hard to keep up. There are many groups in the states that actually are piling up guns and ammunition so when some Russian economist claims USA might end up in a civil war and/or will break up in smaller countries you shouldn’t dismiss it. Barack Obama is a socialist tumor on the decaying body that once was the hope of freedom in this world. The next time this idiot writes a book he can call it: “mein kampf II” and we all know how good sequels are.

“Get up, get out, get drunk, and repeat as needed”

The most hideous red wine ever

I was actually planning on getting a bit drunk tonight, so after a hard day with work paperwork, bank appointments and so on; I go by the store at the corner and picked me up six bears and a bottle of red wine (Yeah, workday tomorrow, shouldn’t overdo it). The beer, Grolsch, was kind of bad, not terrible, but definitely not very pleasant either. But together with some toast and while watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer, they went down. So then came the moment I actually had been waiting for all day, some nice good red wine. I do love red wine. Even though I actually prefer vodka, at least for the drunkenness but red wine is absolutely great and until this day I hardly thought you could go wrong buying a bottle. Sure there are better ones and worse ones, but still red wine usually is like heaven in my body. And stupid as I am, I hardly looked what it was when I bought it, were too eager I suppose. So there I’m sitting, a newly open bottle in front of me, reading a text message from a beautiful lady. I pour the wine in a glass, wondering if I should write back, but I decided not to. Wasn’t really one of those messages you answer to. So then I started to flip around Internet for some disaster to read about to enhance the experience of the wine, but didn’t really find anything. Too few wars in the world. Anyway, I get to Facebook and unsuspectingly moved the glass closer to my mouth and while I’m checking what my friends been up to I start to drink…

- Here I need to tell you about the puddle of manure that someone has puked in and some Santa Claus looking fellow have rolled over and died in. This puddle then gets sucked up by a dirty sponge that is normally used for scrubbing old ladies at the old folk’s home. This sponge then gets squeezed dry by Bubba (doing 4 years for 67 murders), at the local prison, over his latest rape victim, mixing with blood and other fluids while Bubba’s friend Charles (doing 65 years for missing to fill in a tax form) is collecting the drops with his mouth. Charles then vomits down a bucket that is collected as evidence subjected to many lab tests and different chemicals. One of the scientists however gets a brainy idea and pours the fluids down a wine bottle and sells it overseas were I happen to buy it. -

… and that ladies and gentlemen is how one can get off the souse. I have been drunk so many times, falling down ditches, wischwoshing across the road on my way home promising never to drink again. But I always drink again. After this experience however, I will actually consider keeping myself to lemonade.

The wine? It’s a Shiraz from California called “Gallo” – from the Gallo family.

I have warned you

I have told you about them before, those sneaky animals that are out to get us. Most people, despite their, for the most part, inactive brains, know to look out for poisonous snakes and not even dim-witted Christian Democrats do walk over to a lion on the savanna and start scratching behind its ears. But still we don’t learn. It isn’t the obvious dangers we need to look out for, it’s those devious ones that look cute and adorable when we watch them and when we look away they jump us from behind and eat our flesh. Kangaroos, which I have pointed out before, are one of these animals. They attack us during weekends and have even been known to gather in mobs to attack humans. Those cuddly Panda Bears can rip your arms out and nibble on your inners if you get to close to them. Wolf’s, that many think is cute and we should preserve, hunt and kill our livestock and it has happen before and it will happen again that they grab themselves a helpless hunter to eat. Polar Bears that seem to be those chronically depressive environmentalists favorite animal to save, actually actively hunt and kill us. Killer Whales, Dingoes, pink dolphins we can also add to the list. And now we learn that chimpanzees actually plan and plot their attacks, even on us humans. Is anyone surprised by this fact? How can you go around oblivious about what’s going on around you? I say, let’s make coats and rugs out of them! I want one of those homicidal Panda Bears shot, stuffed and mounted on my wall. And every one of these man-haters should be rendered extinct. And if one of those environmentalists’ animal lovers happens to end up in the scope of your rifle, well… you know what to do…