Friday, August 17, 2012

Myths about Sweden Swedes and other idiots believe in

Sweden is a beautiful country and has lots of positive things about it – among other things we actually have, what I believe to be, the world’s best fast food. I know that sounds strange, but buying a kebab, pizza or hamburger in Sweden is a divine experience in comparison to must other countries. Strangely our kebab is not what we are famous for…

Having traveled around the world and lived in several countries (currently living in the Czech Republic) it’s hard not to see the clear and obvious differences between a perceived Sweden by Swedes and the real Sweden in comparison to reality. 

For example; healthcare.
When measuring healthcare Sweden almost always rank at the very top. Although true that when you actually get to meet a doctor or get that operation the healthcare system in Sweden is normally really good - it does not however take into account the miles of miles of queues. If you get attacked at night and you´re bleeding from several wounds and you rush to the ER in Sweden to get help; you need to take a number, fill out a form or two, and then sit down and wait next to the mummified corpses of others that came before you. Of course it happens that you get help faster, as long as you can persuade the nurses to stop drinking coffee (don´ttry it, they may let you die!), but queues are not the only problem. The very strict, cold and somewhat unprofessional attitude of healthcare personnel is horrible in its own right. Customer service is a totally unheard of concept in the Swedish healthcare system.

But even if you can work around it or you don´t care so much about my slightly (just slightly) exaggerated generalization above, you still need to compere Sweden’s healthcare system to that of others and look at the cost of it.

Of all the countries I´ve lived in and visited I can honestly and truthfully say that ONLY the UK has a worse and more antihuman system. You get much better professional personnel and much quicker and better care in countries like Turkey, Estonia, Spain and Australia then you will ever get in Sweden. Whatever way the UN ranks countries and whatever inbreed foolish Swedes may think, the healthcare system is not top notch - not even close.

Another example; public transport.
Public transport in Sweden is that of a third world country. It’s so pitiful, so ridiculous, so pointless and so crappy that it should be the laughing stock of the world. We swedes sort of take pride in being organized and having things run smoothly and on time – but comes to public transport we´re drunken Smurfs without any sense of direction.

Swedes seem to think that one bus every 2 hrs is fine as long as it comes and arrives on time (which it almost never do either). Swedes seem to think that countless tollbooths, unreadable maps and maze-like structures for the Metro and train stations in combination with ticket prices equivalent to a year’s salary in countries like Uganda (where the public transport system is about on the same level as in Sweden) is the way to go.

Perhaps it looks pretty good on the surface and since all Swedes speak English and are pretty helpful it’s not that hard to get around, but in comparison to other countries and looking at the amount of cash thrown at the system it’s a system with no equal in crappyness. Countries like Austria, France, Hungary and the Czech Republic is so far ahead of Sweden when it comes to public transport that it’s like night and day. Not only are almost every single country on this planet doing it better, they also do it much, much cheaper.

A third example; the Justice system.
If you end up in a court in Sweden you will not be trialed by a jury or judges or experts or anything like that. Nope. Instead you will be trialed by politically appointed (by the different political parties) screw-ups hardly even knowing a single thing about the law. It is not uncommon to see one of them sleeping while another one reads a paper and a third one stares at you with murder in his eyes because you work for a living and that guy staring at you is a socialist wanting to steal your money in order to throw it at Sweden’s dysfunctional public transport system.

There are anarchists, environmentalists, elderly washouts, and youngsters barely out of high school deciding your faith. Of course a “real” judge holds the gavel and presides over the meeting, but putting your life and future in the hands of a bunch of politically appointed misfits does not feel like justice now does it?

Sweden also have a history of letting CIA and other criminal organizations fly in and pick up both foreigners and Swedish citizens and fly away with them to undisclosed locations. No wonder Assange do not want to be extradited to Sweden. Neither would I.

And the police? Oh my… In comparison to other countries the rate of cleared up crimes is very low and so if you want to commit murder or rob families or rape someone, Sweden is the place to be. To be fair this cannot really and only be blamed on a stupefied police force, they get their hands tied by bureaucratic nonsense and a police officer in Sweden works as a file clerk than anything else.

You can walk around for a week in the capital of Stockholm without seeing a single police officer – they are too busy filling out forms and sharpening their pencils to be out on the street.

Every. Single. Person. I know who has been a victim of a crime (or several) only give one reason to go to the police; in order to get insurance money. They have no illusions of the police actually catching the criminal; Swedes know that that will never happen.

A fourth example; alcohol
One of the main reasons I will never move back to Sweden is the absolutely maddening alcohol policy.

Remember this folks; if you ever go to Sweden and feel the hankering for a couple of beers, you CANNOT go to the supermarket or the local drugstore – they don´t have it, they are not allowed to.

You need to go to a government controlled, government owned and government regulated special store called “systembolaget”. They have specific opening hours so if you want a bottle of whiskey late evening or want to share a bottle of chardonnay with your woman on a Sunday, you are screwed.

And if that stupidity isn´t enough for you, the stores are not really common occurrences either - especially not on the countryside so you really need to plan any drinking days, weeks or perhaps even months in advance.

And if that is not enough; how about the pitiful selection and choices of drinks they allow Swedes to buy? I have more options looking around my tiny little neighborhood here in Prague then you can find in the entire country of Sweden.

So of course Swedes, pretty famous for their drinking habits, buy smuggled booze or make their own moonshine – and, of course, government sees this as “criminal activity” and lock people up for years after sentenced by politically appointed ´judges´ and after being paraded as horrible anti-social thugs by the political correct elitist sphere.

Cannot really make this shit up, sadly it’s true.

And finally; Political correctness.
Seen a poster with a woman eating a sausage lately? Not inSweden. If you put up one of those in my birth nation you´ll get crucified in media and the feminist mafia will either burn down your shop or vilify you to such a degree that no one will ever dare to step into your establishment again.

In Sweden it is regarded as sexist to hold up a door for a woman and you are racist if you sing the national anthem. In Sweden we cannot sell Ice-cream called Nogger because that reminds you of Nigger and an ice cream called 88 is of course the same as HH or Heil Hitler. In Sweden you need to acknowledge public holidays of all religions and cultures – otherwise you are a fascist sexist racist that hates gay people. In Sweden you cannot smoke anywhere without giving babies cancer. In Sweden a woman yelling ´rape´ is always correct and the man accused is guilty until politically appointed ´judges´ decides he´s not.

In Sweden a woman showcasing her pussy from different angles while openly declaring she´s lesbian and stating she enjoy double-sided dildos while rubbing her clit with a banana is a person with integrity and a good represent of art while the store selling mentioned dildo needs to hide in a dark alley so that the feminist mafia, celebrating mentioned woman, do not burn it down.

You may think that such things are happening in your country as well, and you would be correct, but we Swedes take it to another level; we institutionalize it, we put laws in place to protect it, we hire countless amounts of administrators and bureaucrats to make sure forms and documents exists of all events and all things perceived as politically correct. Being politically correct in Sweden is a state of collective zombification and anyone straying outside of that norm is labeled, accused, spat at and ridiculed by all.

Of course you can have fun with it to - as long as you don´t mind saying goodbye to a career and are able to wave auf wiedersehen to many of so called friends. I usually, loudly and as obnoxiously as possible, declare my love for porn, how much I hate feminists and I argue the Pride Parade is only an excuse for sexually licentious morons to show their pierced nipples in public. Such things are pretty good conversation starters, but together with my libertarian principles it makes me a prime target for the entire society structure. Fun though.
 There you have it; and if you ever thought about moving to Sweden, please don´t.