Wednesday, February 11, 2009

You are going to die! – part VII

Funerals are carried out in different ways depending on your religion or what country you live in, but the basics are about the same. Some priest (or whatever) holds some speech, people are crying and there is some kind of ceremony to keep up appearances so whatever plan the particular “church” have to get people’s money, isn’t disturbed.Often this includes immortality or at least some kind of afterlife. Just telling people that their loved ones are going to be eaten by worms and decompose into nothing isn’t really a good sales pitch.

But back to the ceremony. I can only talk about the Christian kind of funeral carried out in Sweden, so sorry if I’m a racist for not knowing how other religions do it. The ones I have been at have been about like this: People gather at church, a priest (or minister or whatever those people are called) speak a little about the person that has died, maybe one or two others also will hold some memorial speech. Then there is some singing. Someone reads a bit from the bible, more singing, and then people can watch or visit the coffin (open or closed). Afterwards people gather at the home of the deceased or a close relative to eat cookies and drink caffeine, talking about the person rotting away in the ground or something else to ease their minds and keep them from not thinking about their own demise.

The whole thing seems utterly fixed somehow, kind of like theaters were everyone plays a part with the church polling their strings. The singing is often very ridiculous, the priest’s speech sounds terrible and people crying might get you yourself wet in the eyes, but still, it doesn’t feel quite right. Something is off. When I was younger I did not really know why I always felt so uneasy at funerals. A psychiatrist or someone who are “in touch with their feelings” might argue I myself am grieving in my own way or feeling the lostness of the one dead. But that’s not it. When I got older I figured it out, it’s the whole thing that’s so damn stupid that gets me. Okay, someone is dead and I feel sad for that, but the church is capitalizing on that fact, marketing a death as a reason to go to church, and worse, selling the notion of death and life as a part of the “heavenly order”. People gather around the dead corps in a horde crying. Like it would make a difference if they all stayed home grieving by themselves? The person is dead; he/she cannot tell the difference. But instead we are standing or sitting in the sanctuary of death and hypocrisy that is religion. Hundreds of millions of people have died in the name of the lord. The atrocities that have been made by religion cannot be topped by anything, not even the Nazis or the communists. And there we are, promoting this idiocy.

As if this isn’t enough, the government has decided that one should pay funeral tax. No matter if you are a Muslim, Jew or belong to some other stupidity, you are bound by law to pay this tax. And of course you cannot be buried wherever you would like, only appointed places are right for you. And if you get yourself incinerated, the ashes cannot be spread wherever, it must be in a certain place. Like if would matter if my ashes are in forest A instead of forest B? People need to realize that they are going to die and will soon be a tiny piece of forgotten history. There is no heaven, no hell, no afterlife and certainly no virgins waiting for you on the other side. Funerals’, and belonging to a church, is human’s way of dealing with the notion of being turned into dust, nothing else, and nothing more.

Killer Koalas need to be exterminated!

Argh… the sneaky and immoral Koala Bears have done it again. Strutting their cuteness around so people do not expect their evil plans. A Koala was “rescued” from the fires in Australia (thankfully lots of its kindred have died horrifying deaths in the flames). I suspect that this “rescue” only is a cover for its real purpose. What purpose this might be, I haven’t figured out yet, but it’s apparent that this cuddly little thing that now goes by the name “Sam” does not have a single honest bone in her body. The first thing this little harlot does after being rescued is to fall in the arms of another “rescued” Koala. This one goes by the name of “Bob”. Pictures are taken of this horrendous couple, seemingly huddled together, flaunting their cuteness and being so adorable that even evil people like Mother Teresa would get a heartbeat, if she wasn’t dead that is, thank God. But you just know that there is something else going on here, something beneath the surface. I believe that either they are spreading some disease around or they are doing the ground work for whatever scheme they are plotting. Getting human names and “giving hope” to a fire struck society is just the first step. This might just be their way of making themselves more believable when they suddenly will start to speak and announce how they are taking over the world. Probably with the help of those retched Cow scum’s that have infiltrated pretty much every country in the world. The speech will probably contain things like “No more poor people”; “We will work together” and the grand final; “Let’s come together and work towards a coming goal”. All the while they are putting up death camps on the moon and secretly promoting different Illuminati alumni, which have been preparing this take over for millennia, as their human puppets.

It’s time to strike back people. Nature (or global warming if you are an idiot) has given us an opportunity to get rid of these warmongering bastards once and for all. Let them burn! If necessary we cannot stop because some people might get hurt, toast them now! To all Australians out there, kick their tiny little cute Koala bums into the flames and save humanity!

Breaking the law

Today I’m going to lie down in a solarium and buy some snuff. Both of these things is, according to some, bad for you. I also plan to go over the speed limit, drive without a sit belt and break a couple of more laws. So I’m going to be a rebel in several ways. Well, not really, but it sounds good. Getting a tan, doing some tobacco and breaking a couple of stupid laws might be horrifying to some, but is it really? It’s my life and my body, how come it is “immoral” and “illegal” to do things to yourself? Only an authoritarian society where you are considered government property this can happen.

Time for some porn

I’m a huge fan of pornography. Not only because it’s erotic entertainment which makes you horny or the fact that its level up your fantasies. I’m also a fan because religious people and most feminists loath it. If naked people having sex are offensive to those groups, you know it’s a great thing in our world.

EU does us proud!

Just when I was really bored I happened to read Henrik Alexanderssons blog were he writes about the European Union’s new little pet project. It seems that people are not informed about their civil rights and do not make use of them the best they can. So in steps the European Union! They are going to teach us about equality at the workplace, poverty and other amusing things we cannot read about or Google for ourselves. And this coaching job is, apparently, going to be made by a circus. I’m not sure if it’s an actual circus, but it’s not the clowns at the European parliament or any of the life joggling bureaucrats that rules our lives. During 2009 these traveling freaks will visit several cities around Europe handling different topics and making them easily accessible to senior citizen and youngsters.

Now this is entertainment! I cannot remember when I laughed this hard. It’s extraordinarily ridiculous and absolutely tragicomically. You have never seen your tax money put to this good use before.

dreary night…

Very boring night… I think I might drink some beer, just to get rid of the boringness. Intoxication is always fun and you always see or think about stuff that otherwise might slip you by.

You are going to die! - Part VI

There some facts of life that we normally do not think about, or rather choice to ignore. If you are standing in a room full of people, statistically speaking, several of them have been (or will be) robbed, raped, mutilated or even murdered. There will also be those who inflict deceases or pain on others in the same room. Rapists and murderers walking among their victims. Among them there will be those having or going to have cancer, AIDS or malaria. Some of them will die young, some in terrible accidents and some will die from old age, but all of them will die. So when you are walking among other humans, all you really see is dying, hurting and soon to be forgotten people that never think about their own mortality.

Another fun fact is that all of us will experience the loss of a loved one; a relative dying from some decease; a wife passing away from a tumor; a child dying while crossing the street or maybe some, or several, of your loved ones will die in wars or by starvation. And those being alive aren’t doing much better, being taxed, controlled and monitored by the government, their neighbors always looking on jealous of something. Not being able to afford a vacation or not having money to pay the bills. Families breaking up, children being molested and that uncle that is an alcoholic will always make family holidays a joyful occasion. A son getting into drugs, a twelve year old daughter getting pregnant. Wife’s getting beat up, cheating husbands and that oh so fun unemployment that seems to go around. The misery that surrounds our lives is constant reminding us about pain and suffering. And if we start to think about how tiny and insignificant we really are in the vastness of space and how short our lives really are, we might go crazy.

But all of this is why I think it’s so funny to see people that take themselves too seriously, going about saving the world and helping the poor, getting hurt or killed. I mean, just think about it. Think about a person that always want to do the right thing, always helping others, always crying over dolphins getting killed and always using environment friendly soap, And imagine that this person is living on the hillside of a volcano. Sitting in the living room, not thinking about anything but increasing welfare programs to the poor and watching TV were some reporter blames rainfalls on global warming. Suddenly there is hot lava pouring in through the window and big stones flying around smashing the house he/she have build with their own hands and by only using already dead trees. Their organ donor papers burning at the same time as their inners are getting burned. Their perfectly toned bodies (from hours at the gym) going crackle and pop, all the time their hand is grasping a meditative stone from Guru Sadigorou - who claims that suffering is good for the soul. And when the house burns down some news reporter outside reports that no one could predict the volcano eruption and is telling the listeners that the government isn’t sending rescue workers fast enough to the area.

If you do not think this scenario is hilarious I feel sad for you.

Global warming causes socks to disappear.

I just figured it out. You know how it always seems that no matter how careful you are when doing laundry, it always seem to be one sock that missing its partner? I have actually (this is true) counted and been absolutely certain that the number of socks in the washer is an even number, everyone having their bellowed with them in the laundry basket. I do the laundry and tada! There is one lonely sock just grinning at me with the intent to invoke insanity.

But now I know how and why this happens. It’s because of global warming. It just hit me that the hole in the ozone layer (that was supposed to have killed us all by now if you read newspapers in the 80’s) in combination with warmer (or cooler, depending in which day you watch the news) climate on this planet have reversed the polarization of every washer. Early man did not have this problem, socks stayed were they were. If you washed them, they still hang together in pair, not alone. Early man did not have washers or electricity, which is pretty much the only difference in washing. So the conclusion that this change somehow makes socks go: poff!, is not very farfetched. And as we all know, electricity and electrical appliances are the main reason why we have tornados, rainfall and got the resent fires in Australia. So global warming is causing socks to disappear. This revelation have made me completely aware of my contribution to the world’s problems and in the same spirit as when the European Union banned light bulbs and the Swedish government outlawed mercury, I now will wash my socks in the river. Back to basics people. Fire by rubbing sticks together and moving around on horseback is the way to go.

Heil socialism!

People want to be cuddle with, they want welfare, they want to be able to do nothing and get wealthy for it. This is really nothing strange because people are generally speaking a lazy bunch. We all want to work as little as possible with the highest possible revenue coming our way. This form of opportunism is main reason why governments can keep spending money they do not have or have stolen from the same people they claim to be helping. We do not want to know about cutting on welfare or suddenly getting to pay for our doctors, it should be “free of charge”. And we certainly do not want to know about having to work harder to get more money, getting us more money is the government’s problem. So our government (any of them) that always want to be reelected and have people voting for them, cannot cut down on welfare or tell us the truth about things, because then we might realize that politicians are unnecessary or worse; we might vote for someone else!

So when a crisis hits the financial markets, like it has today, we do not want to know that; overspending money that does not exist on projects that are pointless, is the main cause of the crisis. We do not want to know if the government takes action against this by cutting back on our buffet of delicious “free” stuff. Instead we want to know what the politicians are doing to stimulate the market. How they are going to save our comfortable lifestyle and that all actions they take does not, ever, make us pay for stuff on our own.

The saddest part of a country getting rich is that the citizens forget what made them rich in the first place. The richer a country gets, the less people want to work. The more inventions that cuts down on our workload, the less we want to get our hands dirty. And suddenly things like inequality, in regard to income; the number of cars in the garage or status in the society becomes apparent. This of course needs to be rectified and consequently we need higher taxes to erase the differences and “help the poor”. This is the second reason why the government never stops spending our money on ourselves.

The third reason is that the politically correct and journalists (that always seem to be far left for some reason) always scream the highest and indoctrinate people to think of nothing else but getting more from the government. Eagerly applauded by hundreds upon hundreds of organizations all over that wants to “save the whales”; “Help the elderly”; “Save the third world” or some other brainless scheme to get government (our) money. Every one of these organizations, journalists or “thinkers” blaming some mystical force for not letting them have a piece of the governments cake. It can be Jews, Muslims or a bunch of rich men in top hats with money bags, but there is always a scapegoat. Often they blame the market or the “libertarian world we live in”. The market (and libertarians) who do not want to give away money or fuel the jealousy that rules peoples decisions, are a prime target. Who can be worse than the ones not wanting to give politicians more money? Who can be more evil than the ones who rely on hard work and making money instead of just sharing and being lazy? If someone says we need to put some effort into something, it’s the devil!

So people keep demonstrating to keep or enhance their socialist ways and governments that does not listen will be marked as “horrible demons” by historians (who of course is mainly socialists) and will probably not get elected again.

This stupidity caused the downfall of the Roman Empire and will cause the downfall of our societies. I’m just hoping when the killing and mayhem starts, I’m living on an Island somewhere, looking at the TV laughing my brains out at people running around confused and not knowing what happened to them. People are morons and even if that fact is tragic, it’s also unbelievable funny. Go socialism! I’m routing for you!