Monday, February 9, 2009

Animals that should be massacred and rendered extinct!

I have issues with two different animals on this planet; well actually I have issues with many, but two in particular. One is cows and the other is Koala Bears.

Cows are most likely evil incarnated. If you ever have looked into the eyes of a cow you know what I’m talking about. They look at you like you are a vermin that they are going to torture, rape and kill in the most horrific way possible. A friend of mine one once told me that he believed that cows in reality is Alien prisoners sent to earth as punishment for the crimes, forced to live their lives eating grass and ending up as hamburgers. I suppose this is a valid explanation, because there is something about these animals that’s just wrong. Cows are also a main cause of methane gas getting out in the atmosphere. Probably causing cancer, AIDS and other terrible diseases.

Koala Bears are more subtle about their badness. They look cute and cuddly, who among us can look at a Koala beer and not go: “Ahhhh…”? And they hardly move at all just munching away at bamboo like there is no tomorrow. Apparently they are very bad at sex too; repopulation is not really their forte, so they are not sinful creatures either. But this is just my point. They are really too cute, too cuddleable, to innocent looking sitting around, comfy as hell, nibbling on bamboo looking charming and never causing anything but awe. How can you trust an animal that loath sex, that does not drink and only have their cuteness working for them? You just know they are up to no good, probably plotting some horrible scheme for world domination. And how come that animals goes extinct everywhere, but somehow these no for good psychotic things can still be around? That should not be possible. Are you telling me that no carnivores exist that what’s to eat them? And the no sex thing, how do they do it?

I propose we declare open season on these retched creatures and make them pay for being alive. Cows are pretty much already doing the death dance, being slaughtered all over the world, but it is not enough. We need a final solution. Government payouts for each eyeball or Internet competitions were you can win prices for killing them is a couple of ways to go. And if you take a cow and drop it from 1600 feet unto some Koala Bears you should get a medal from the UN! yeah!

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