I still have no computer and apparently fixing the crappy one I have cost almost as much as buy a new one so it will take me a while to be up and running as usual. To my dear readers this may be catastrophic, idiots as most of you are, but I´ve almost told everything needed to be said already. Go back and read. Not much time left now until you will all die horrendously, or eat your young because of starvation or laugh all day if you own certain banks.
Recently I´ve encountered very strange beings, presumably humanoid, crossing my path around the city of Prague. Firstly - I was opening up my window one day in order to inhale the fresh air (with a pack of Camel) when I noticed an old lady walking down the road. I live in a pretty crappy neighborhood with lots of apartments and the area I am about to describe is in the open, fully visible from hundreds of windows. Anyway the old hag in question stopped in the middle of the road, took a couple of steps aside, put down her walking cane and a bag of something, so I was thinking: what the hell is she doing? Next she took another couple of steps aside, away from the cane she didn´t look like she could walk without, pulls down her pants and started doing what in America is usually referred to as number 2… Needless to say I closed my window, sat down on my bed and waited until the ordeal was over…
If you think that was a weird encounter I need to tell you about this very tall, very thin running man coming up against me with a huge French hot dog in his hand. The guy was holding it out like those people carrying the Olympic torch, he run past me and throws the wiener, with bread and all, in a bin by the road, he turns around, comes up by me again and with long running steps he runs towards the fast food place I presumed he just left and with John Cleese–like maneuvers he seem to salute the place and is then talking in Czech… possibly to order another one for is asylum adventures…
But the price for the week go to a lady walking up next to me one day when I was out walking. She said something in Czech, I had no idea what so I told her, in English, that I don´t speak Czech. She mumbles on so I try asking her to speak Spanish, Swedish, or German or even bloody French so I can get what she is saying. She seems very adamant and slightly upset so I am guessing I just walked against a red light or something, so I actually want her to tell me what’s up. The third time I ask her to speak in a language that actually makes sense, she flinches, start touching her body and her eyes start to roll around in her head. She actually turns white and makes this gurgling sound that I associate with dying film actresses. So I am, trained nurse and very familiar with CPR as I am, posed to rush over to her and save her from her handbag and jewelry and to then calmly walk away. Suddenly she flinches again, looks at me with a strange face, like she sees me for the first time, then she start to walking very fast away from me, across the street, always checking were I am, like I was the lunatic...
Well, welcome to Prague, the city of porn stars (seen several in the Metro already…) and bunches of fucking crazies…
