Algae have been spotted outside the coast of Sweden! This is of course horrifying news. Apparently they are spreading – as far north as Umeå!
Read this article – if you don´t understand Swedish the headline reads: ”THE ALGAE ARE HERE!”
The potentially (sic!) toxic bloom, covering 377,000 sq km, could pose a risk to marine life in the region, warn scientists. However according to several articles in Swedish papers the Algae seem to be moving relativly slow because of week winds. Pewww... plenty of time to get to safety then...
According to Sture Nellbring, a pseudo scientist living on your dime, there´s, so far, no reason for alarm. Althoug, he adds, its hard to tell how poisonous the algae are from aerial photos... (the end is nigh!) He also argues that dogs and kids should stay out of the water. A dog can die within 24 hrs if it drinks enough (no way! Drink enough saltwater and you can die!? How come?). But even adults can get sick from algae - Yes it is true; eat, drink, snort or inject enough of these buggers and you may get diarrhea.
Well, there you have it. Stay away from the water. You can drown in it, and if you drink more than 7L you´ll die and water contains man-eating sharks, eals, piranhas and --- uhuh! --- algae!
Yepp, be careful or one day you may die...