Friday, November 5, 2010

Haiti – the hilarious theme park of the Caribbean

Come on down! Its a party all day, every day!

Haiti’s award-winning Live Entertainment will have your toe tappin' and your tail waggin'!*

Featuring amazing gangsta performers from across the country, our shows feature family entertainment such as starvation, bureaucratic thievery, and death all around that's more than music to your ears. Don't miss any performances by planning your visit using our online chat program run by 6-8y old prostitutes. All for your convenience!

Over 30 Rides For All Ages!
Haiti features over 30 rides for all ages and thrill seekers, including our latest world class hurricane coaster! Nowhere else can you find the variety of ways of get screwed, robbed, killed or starve like on our beautiful island. Our popular coaster S.E.X - PROWLER for the family is great fun. See your kids go into frenzy and then disappear into a tunnel and never come out again.** Plus, little ones have an entire section of the island to themselves in Camp Diphtheria, your chance to meet all the diseases that comes from famine!

Thrill Rides
Flip, turn, launch, and spin with these pulse-pounding scream machines; Land-slide mayhem! Machete decapitation! Earthquake rumble! Hideous the Cannibal! Prostitution alley! Nefarious electric shocks! And our latest island favorite; The abominable Hurricane!***

Family Rides
Amusement park classics rides and gang related shootings the whole family can enjoy.****

Kids Rides
Rides for the thrill seeker in training! We go all in to keep you hopping and guessing what torture that will befall your toddlers next.

*All of it comes complementary with socialist planning of the economy, no protection of private property, war-lords running the show and continuous foreign aid tunneled into the pockets of the ruling elite.

** Haiti is taking charge in the Caribbean and is providing more underage sex-slaves than Cuba

***Haiti’s latest sure way of getting killed. Our island has been given billions in aid, we had Former president W-Chimp and Georgi Cunt’on to help us but still about a million inhabitants live in tents! Oh fun fun fun!

**** We make damn sure you’re not armed. Only our local thugs and mafia is allowed guns so they can do whatever they want.

Don’t listen to the people – full speed ahead!

It seems that the European Union is about to change again. We haven’t really see the real fallout from the Lisbon treaty yet, and already the Froggies have formed a coalition with their all time buddies from Deutschland in order to set up a "robust crisis resolution mechanism" for the eurozone, which presumably includes a mechanism for an orderly default procedure for countries that go bust; and introduce political sanctions for rule-breakers, including the temporary withdrawal of voting rights within the Council.

We don’t really know what this means yet, presumably the schemers don’t know either, other than it is a “necessary” change. But we can make educated guesses from what we know.

Firstly they really have their knickers in a bundle over the little PIGgies down south, so, we can be reasonably certain that their bail-out of Greece (which went against earlier treaties by the way) wasn’t a thing of the past - not really a one-time deal so to say. This new binding contract is to set up so future bail-outs of countries will be handled unilaterally throughout from all EU countries and not only by members of the Monetary Union. Which is to say that Nordic countries, alongside Germany and other so-so fiscally responsible, will haft to come to the rescue by law next time. Not by stealth like this time. So run you little PIGgies! Run! You’ve got the rest to save you now.

Secondly we know from history that they always feel the need to point out the seriousness and authority of such treaties with a new body of bureaucrats. This, in all probability, means another 300-400 (or more) politicians hired with obscene salaries. Of course this new EU department will also need an additional bunch of misfits to check what they are doing, so even more of them need to be hired.
Thirdly they always seem to miss something or a country or two feel like they’ve been left out or such a treaty won’t go well with earlier treaties or…

Needless to say, there will be changes made. No matter how much the schemers work to put it together there will be holes and problems, so they will need many lawyers, tricksters and investigators before it can be law, and afterwards they will change this or that or - which is very likely! - yet another treaty will come up on the table to fix the problems with this one.

This isn’t something that will happen soon. It takes time and many tens of millions before they have a finished proposal, so we’ll probably never see it anyway. Our current financial dilemma has hardly reached the surface yet and when it is all over I would be very surprised if the Monetary Union, or EU as a whole for that matter, is still in existence. The Eurozone is doomed to fail, just like any other centralized socialist projects before.

However another round of treaty change negotiations has now officially been outed so before it all crumbles and crashes we will all have the wonderful joy of paying for this little plot. After all, don’t bureaucrats need to put lobsters and champagne on the table like the rest of us?

From the other side of the pond we now know that helmsman and soul-sucker extraordinaire, Ben Bernanke, is going for the all time inflation record. History’s number one, in regards to price increase in the shortest amount of time, is the hyperinflationary crisis of Hungary in 1946, in which prices doubled every 15.6 hours. Let’s see if good old Berny can do better.

We now know that the U.S. is about to crash and burn, probably so severely that the entire country will cease to exist. I wouldn’t rule anything out, including civil war, food riots and wanted-posters on the entire Washington elite.

When the world’s biggest economy goes down, so will the rest of the world follow.

The two questions needed to be asked now is how many will die (many of the 50 million or so just on the right side of starvation will perish), and what will emerge as a consequence of this debacle - remember the last time? And mind you, that MINOR depression was so tiny in comparison that any people still alive from the era will come to regard it as “the good old times”. Back then we weren’t as indebted as we are today, and back then they only had a few problem - big problems sure, but few nevertheless. Today we’re facing a multitude of them, and each one capable of knocking this world upside-down.


NONE OF THEM! Not a single one of those derivatives have any form of value. In the best case scenario most of the derivatives exists as based on the expected future price movements of the asset to which it is linked, if so you could almost call of one of the four horsemen, but we really don’t know, so I would still expect brimstone to illuminate our future. And this is ONE problem.

In most western countries (and in many others across the world) the total debts and debts obligations have together NEVER been higher then today, not even during fun times like WW II.

The housing bubbles, the inflationary policies, mad schemes to keep stock prices up, manipulated markets, regulations and laws running amok, interest rates so low the word 'ridiculous’ won’t cut it, currency wars, increasing protectionism, banksters robbing us blind, unemployment, several never ending wars (and more to come), the manmade global warming swindle, bail-outs, toxic assets, and Sarah fucking Palin.

All these screw-ups and many, many more have come together in a beautiful harmony of despair and catastrophe.

And please bear in mind that the original problems, the faulty policies and messy tricks that got us into the “greatest recession”, haven’t been solved. Only temporarily painted over. That alone should scare you senseless.

When this thing start to unravel and really picks up speed you’ll need to find a whole lot of new adjectives to describe how seriously royally screwed we all are. The acronym F.O.B.A.R. is the closest thing I can think of at this moment.