Sunday, February 15, 2009

Abracadabra: Unemployment is gone – two solutions

After reading an article in International Herald Tribune (Article can be found: about the decline of available jobs around the world, I felt inspired to share the solution with this papers reporters and the rest of the world.
I want to share two solutions to unemployment, wherever it might be found. They are easy to understand, can be done pretty quickly and will have an almost 100% success rate. The reason why I say “almost” is because there will always be persons between jobs, unwilling to work no matter what and a very few number of people, coma victims for instance, that can’t work.

First solution:
Ever since some economists thought about work and what generates value there have been those who think that the physical work that is put into something, is the thing that creates and increases the value of whatever the physical work have been put into. Marx was a big fan of this idea and communists (along with many others) still believe in this dim-witted notion. But let’s leave that idiocy for the time being, we are talking about solving unemployment. What we could do is very simple, so simple in fact that it can be done within days and be done so with as much cost as the government feel is appropriate. We simply take all the unemployed people out into the wilderness somewhere and let them dig holes in the ground. I know what you think, we cannot destroy nature, and maybe it will increase global warming? But if we make these people do it were they cannot really destroy anything, like in mountains regions, the impact on the environment will be minimal. And we can also make them shovel back the dirt once the hole is finished, so we have a never ending task digging and filling in holes. If people do not want to do this kind of work, we can use the police to force them or we can pay enough (with tax money) so they will be willing. To some extent this have been done before in several communist countries, producing as much weight or as big as possible. People starved, never produced any kind of value (despite the idiot Karl Marx’s ideas) and got shot in the back of the neck if they did not do as they were told, but hey, they had work.

Second solution:
If we take away all kinds of state founding, social welfare and unemployment checks all people who “cannot find work” will find work faster than you can find a Koala Bear burning in Australia. When people face the risk of starvation and their kids are dying from undernourishment, they will find jobs, I promise you. Even in our western societies were it’s a norm to get welfare and living of other peoples hard work, people who “cannot find work” will find it. Okay, this will not take days like the more socialist solution above, more like months or even years and it might cause some harm on the way. Riots against the government for taking away peoples “free” buffet and some citizens that have forgot how to use their limbs sitting in front of the TV eating snacks their neighbor is paying for through taxation, might just have a hard time. Some will even lose a couple of pounds and feel crappy for a while. Working takes effort you know. But in the end we will have a working populace and unemployment will only be among those coma victims I talked about. And this, in opposite to the first solution will actually generate value. Value which will make all of us richer with real money, not by fictive ones or by letting them run around in a circle from you, to the government, back to you.

Well, make your choice and let’s get rid of unemployment once and for all. I personally like the first solution best, but then not digging holes. I would prefer to have people build the biggest shoes, size 3876477. That might actually also draw some attention from tourists so it will not only be a great monument of employed peoples hard work. And a couple of those shoes might even be seen from space, sending a message to any alien invaders that we are a big people that you do not mess with.

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