Thursday, April 8, 2010

Oh my God, the death gas will get us!

"My CO2 level is too high!"

A study has shown that near-death experiences, “such as seeing life flash before one’s eyes” or “intense feelings of joy and peace”, may be linked to levels of carbon dioxide (CO2) or, as it will be known from now on – the death gas.

The researchers believe that CO2 may alter the chemical balance of the brain and trick it into seeing lights, tunnels or dead people…

The study was carried out by Dr Zalika Klemenc-Ketis and colleagues from the University of Maribor in Slovenia. It is unclear who funded the research, but suspects include the Illuminati and Iraqi insurgents. The study was published online in the peer-reviewed medical journal Critical Care.

To my astonishment the UN have so far been silent, no doubt more careful with trusting ‘scientists’ after all the ‘gates we’ve seen lately.

But this is huge! Come on! Here you have a gas that in best case scenario causes hallucinations, in worst can be responsible for people dying in the first place. And this is the same gas that is melting polar caps, killing white bears, causes hurricanes and wildfires, gives us acne, creates poverty and possibly murdered Michael Jackson.

There should be an uproar over at the UN with pseudo intellectuals too busy counting the potential billions in new funding to even notice how their gold implanted desks are filling up with drool.

And where are the ones screaming about the chiiildreeen? CO2 is clearly a drug of sort, and still legal! I bet you can even buy it online!


  1. Lol, then all is explained!
    The politicians and their staff sit in conference rooms for hours and hours. The CO2-level rises and voila, they start hallucinating about the Polar ice melting, or that the lady in front of me is flirting.
    Just think about how many were in the COP-meeting in December. Thousands of participants.
    So you have a multiplier effect:
    CO2-levels multiplied with "group think" and a "Bay of pigs"-syndrome. I feel sorry for the guys. All these academic points gathered and all they get are hallucinations. It would be cheaper for the tax payers if LSD would be legal.

  2. Oh, I missed that angle... OF COURSE!

  3. What about dihydrogen monoxide? We have it too in every home