Wednesday, February 10, 2010

copier machine game II

I guess I’m not the only one watching central bank people all over the world having so much fun and feeling a bit jealous about it?

They get to play with colors, numbers and hand out pieces of paper that people for some reason use to exchange goods with. So I’ve decided to create some pointers how to construct the exact same game.

First you need to go out and buy a copier machine.

Do not assume that buying a copier machine with tons of features means that you will be paying for unnecessary options. So many features are built into digital machines these days that the "extra" features may have little to no impact on price. Just make sure you stick to your requirements. You could also go for that computer you only need to press a couple of buttons on, but I find that a copier machine have more charming attributes.

After you’ve picked up the right machine, select some pieces of paper, preferably paper with nice colors. Always more fun with bright and shiny paper, but remember to have several different papers with a couple of different colors. Then figure out some cool name for your money. Let’s call our money “The Sheople’s money”, it’s just a name, don’t worry about it, you can call it whatever you like. Well, it could lead to some confusion if you pick names already taken, such as Dollar, Pound, Krona, Euro etc. but otherwise it do not really matter.

Then pick a couple of numbers to write on the pieces of papers you bought. Let’s write ‘Sheople 10’ on the red ones ‘Sheople 50’ on the blue and ‘Sheople 100’ on green ones.

Before you do anything else, go and join up with Hells Angels and create together with them a protection agency. After all, only you should be printing money and if anyone else print money, you need to “show them the right way”.

Now, let’s start printing!

When you have a couple of fine piles of those newly printed pieces of papers, hand them out in your neighborhood to people and use any persuasion tactic to get them to start using your paper as currency. Bikers standing by in the background, pointing a gun at someone’s head or burning down a couple of stores is usually enough to get friends and neighbors to accept your currency.

And now comes the first really fun part. Playing with numbers, colors and the printer is fun, but to continue doing the same is even funnier. Especially when you do it all the time, no matter what the problem is.

Prices rise on food? Print more money. People are losing their jobs? Print more money. People can’t afford their homes anymore? Print more money. And when your community “needs" to borrow money from another neighborhood, you can also print more money to buy those debts which means that once again your monopoly money saves the day. A copy machine to the rescue! Almost like a superhero isn’t it?

You can also take out a high salary for doing all this to your friends and neighbors. After all, you are the hero with some pieces of papers that has arbitrary chosen numbers on them.

But please also remember that in all neighborhoods there are troublemakers. Like that pesky shop owner at the corner who insists on raising his prices higher then you like, but cheerfully enough you can put him back on the right track with the help of some bikers. And then there are a couple of women that seem to be using gold instead of your pieces of paper. They are probably tired of using more and more paper and getting less and less for them, but hey, that’s not your problem. Send bikers on them too!

Now, you have a society deeply in debt with ever increasing prices and inhabitants that’s not really doing as they have been told. Some business has also gone down with more people not working as consequence and some of your neighborhoods debts owners are also having some problems. You have entered a recession.

What do you do then… let’s think about it…oh, I know! You print more money! And then you can use this new money to increase spending to hide any debts as well as use it to publically employ slackers and lazy bums. And while you are at it, remember to also borrow even more money from other neighbors.

We can call this the “Weimar republic”-game or “Zimbabwe showed us the way”-game.

It’s a great way to spend a couple of years. Especially when you also can play, at the same time, games like: “I know best what to eat, drink, and inhale” – game and that fantastically funny: “Let’s send more printed money to banks in the neighborhood but only to them”-game. In combination with making the best use of Hells Angels bone cracking skills, you have lots of fun ahead of you. Just remember; keep that smile on your face!

If you don’t get it, this is EXACTLY what governments and central banks are doing.

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