Thursday, July 2, 2009

Hilarious morning

This morning I spent some minutes roaming through newspapers and news station online since I always get to giggle a little. This morning was no exception. Starting with BBC - the very first headline I notice was about this pink and fluffy Hog Flu that apparently is “Unstoppable!”. Before my laughs even had ended I stumbled across the next cutie: “Climate change is shrinking sheep!”. Yes, apparently driving cars makes sheep in Scotland smaller in size and we all know how important it is with decent sized sheep.

Going over to the Swedish paper Expressen I noticed that well over half of the news had been stolen (as usual) from other news agencies. Most of the über-journalist’s work as overpaid translators just translating news stories straight from another paper/radio/TV (or whatever) hardly doing any work at all except lifting 10 donuts a day and drinking coffee. In this paper we can also watch “The sweaty arm-pit song”, we can learn whether or not we are sex-crazy maniacs, we read about naked cyclists and people having problems in bed (serious sex fixation in this paper).

My next stop was LA Times that is filled with goodies today. California is completely bankrupt and as usual when politicians are facing utter defeat they turn to that funny Guttenberg invention. In true Zimbabwe style the Governator and his lackeys fired up a pair of printing presses and began rolling out nearly 29,000 IOUs totaling more than $53 million, most of them destined for residents around the state still awaiting income tax refunds. Recipients also include some businesses, pensioners, health clinics, college students and many others who get checks from the state. This is among the most hilarius things I have ever read and I had to go back to hit several times. Michael Jackson and his Gold Coffin – back to the IOU’s. Anti-smoking drugs can make you crazy – back to the IOU’s. US Unemployment rates higher than expected – back to the IOU’s. All the time giggling like a little school girl.

On my journey around the world I kept laughing at more companies going down, trade continuing its fall while stupid morons keep inflating the stock-market bubble thanks to the trillions of fiat money (with that freshly smell of newsprint) they have got from the central bank and malevolent governments. The funniest bit though is signs/comments and plans from several countries that the bail-outs and stimulus’s so far aren’t enough. There is more to come. According to sources at the White House; the Obamination is already planning his next move and there are rapports about both China and other states in Asia and the pacific doing the same. This is fantastic and I cannot wait for more trillions of dollars, pounds or whatnot to flow into the market. Everyone together now; 1,2,3; Hyperinflation!! The scenario unfolding now is the stuff nightmares are made off and it’s absolutely brilliant entertainment.

By the way, I bought popcorn yesterday. Commodities like popcorn will be scarce in the near future so I’m stacking up. Cannot watch this headless chicken race towards the abyss without it.

1 comment:

  1. hej du tror att du är så cool va??? du kallar alla dina läsare idioter i din profil..asså du e såå cp..haha bara skojar med dig ;=) Fint skrivet och för vad det är värt så tycker jag att din engelska är skitbra. Dock är din profilinformation lite dyster, ville bara hälsa att det är viktigt att komma ihåg att det ALLTID någon som är smartare än en själv..tyvärr. Men du har rätt. Snart sju miljarder människor och inte skapas det så mycket trevligt i världen..ja det var mina flummiga tankar är sjukt trött så ledsen för eventuella stavfel och jag kommenterade inte ditt inlägg utan det jag läste mellan raderna. Skriv mer så att jag har nåt att läsa :P.