I volunteer – infect me

I still find this swine-flu thingy very amusing in a tragic-comical kind of way.

Any normal year a half a million people worldwide dies from flu, why aren’t those pandemics? Suddenly a hundred or so Mexican may have died from one of many strings of flu (so far not completely confirmed that it is all courtesy of the swine one) but seemingly almost every infected get well and walk away with no problems. But if you reed the news it is still Armageddon, and people still gets scared.

Each day more people dies in traffic than ten times the amount of infected swine-people. The amount of deaths so far hasn’t even reached the number of dead from physical pig attacks yet for Boar’s sake! I really hope that all those people the newspapers are writing about are the only ones out there that really are frightened, otherwise the worlds collective intelligence is lower than even I thought, and I had you all pegged slightly over the amoeba. No wonder you all love being controlled and completely govern by malevolent politicians, apparently most citizens aren’t even capable of a rational thought.

In addition to this, have you seen the “advice” we are getting? Wash the hands. Really? I shouldn’t ignore that? Don’t be picking in your face with dirty hands. Nah? Don’t travel to Mexico if it can be avoided. Why? If any of you idiots out there wants to give away your ticket, give it to me, I’ll go in a heart-beat.

If any doctors out there need a test subject, send me an email. I volunteer to infect myself with this swine flu on purpose. The odds on surviving this minor sickness is apparently staggeringly high – if the reports about all sick people are sick from the same flu. And if, against all odds, I would happen to die, at least I can leave with some time to spare before the looming depression hits us with full force. And IF this turns in to a new ‘Spanish Flu’ with the equivalent of 50 millions dead, I pledge to eat 25 bags of crisps each day for 20 years in order to enhance my risk of getting cancer by 30%. Promise.