It's for the children

Pedophiles, terrorists, suspicious men, Gay people, people with tattoos, porky individuals, sexually promiscuous women, and many more are out to get our young. This we know. We need to save kids from too dangerous equipment, we need padded homes with surveillance, and if we can tag our offspring with a GPS chip we really show how much we care.

We care so much about our young that we inject them with dozens of needles with reasonable risk for anaphylactic events and a fair possibility of getting narcolepsy – just because pharmaceutical companies and politicians say it is a good idea.

We care so much that we happily vote for soul-sucking thieves over and over again since they promise to give us indoctrinating gun-free schools so if not killed by armed assailants, the kids at least become useful automatons in service of the common good. And whenever a mass-shooting do occur at a school we can rest assured that the same government that is murdering hundreds, if not thousands, of kids overseas will protect us and our kids after the fact.

We love our kids so much that whenever our government randomly takes kids away from us to be raised within the social system, we are ecstatically cheerful.

We love our kids to such a degree that we refuse to be able to protect them and we will never use self-defense, because kids may grow up to love violence if we do and it’s the governments job to protect them, and us.

For the sake of children we´re willing to give up freedom of speech, our right to due trial, and happily we hand over all property rights. After all, what are a few rights and freedoms in comparison to looking after our young?

Every ban and new law we cheer – smoking is harmful for the children, so is alcohol, drugs, cars, food additives, sugar, chips, and many other things. Gratefully we accept new restrictions and new taxation, because we know it’s for the children.

In essence we want an ouch-free cushy environment and a society filled with pillows and soft blankets so no harm can ever come to anyone.

Sharp corners? Ban them! Tree-houses? Horrible! Outlaw immediately! And did you see the Johnson family next door? They allow their kids to ride a bike without helmet; perhaps we should call social services?

Internet is for pedophiles and terrorists, oh and by the way; why is that man working at a kindergarten? A bit suspicious, don´t you think? And a grown man coaching 14 year old girls’ football team? Weird...

Just remember, all we do is for the children. It would be soooo horrible if they grow up able to think and take care of themselves. So the next time your government wants to pass a law, make sure it will protect the young (if a politician say so, it must be true!), and then happily accept it.

Personally I love my kids so much I never had any. Would never bring offspring into a world filled with people like you – the idiots – who really, and truly, believe in what I just wrote above.  

I guess you can look at this picture without crying - I cannot. It fills me with tears every time I look at it, but you love this don´t you? After all, he´s just a dark skinned Muslim boy and the Nobel Prize Winning President did this to him, so it must be right. 

Oh, and happy marry fucking x-mas!