They get to play with colours, numbers and hand out pieces of paper that people, for reasons unknown, use to exchange goods with. So I’ve decided to create a few pointers how to construct exactly the same game.
First you need to go out and buy a copier machine.
Do not assume that buying a copier machine with tons of features means that you will be paying for unnecessary options. So many features are built into digital machines these days that the "extra" features may have little to no impact on price. Just make sure you stick to your requirements. You could also go for a computer you only need to press a couple of buttons on, but I find that a copier machine have more charming attributes.
After you’ve picked up the machine, select pieces of paper, preferably paper with nice colours. Always more fun with bright and shiny paper, but remember to have several different papers with a couple of different colours. Then figure out some cool name for your money. Let’s call our money “The Sheople’s money”, it’s just a name, don’t worry about it, you can call it whatever you like. Well, it could lead to some confusion if you pick names already taken, such as Dollar, Pound, Krona, Euro etc. but otherwise it doesn´t really matter.
Then pick a couple of numbers to write on the pieces of papers you bought. Let’s write ‘Sheople 10’ on the red ones ‘Sheople 50’ on the blue and ‘Sheople 100’ on green ones.
NOW! Before you do anything else, go and join up with Hells Angels (or the local mafia, drug lords or whatnot) and create together with them a protection agency. After all, only you should be printing money and if anyone else print money, you need to “show them the right way”.
Now, let’s start printing!
When you have fine piles of those newly printed pieces of papers, hand them out in your neighbourhood to inhabitants and use persuasion tactics to get them to start using your paper as currency. Bikers standing by in the background, pointing a gun at someone’s head or burning down a couple of stores usually is enough to get friends and neighbours to accept your currency.
When this is done, please remember that printing money is always the solution. And prices should always go up anyway, so say all cornflake-economists, and you should listen. Prices going down is bad because it means you cannot play as much with your new toy.
In other words;
Prices rise on food? Print more money. People are losing their jobs? Print more money. People can’t afford their homes anymore? Print more money. And when your community “needs" to borrow money from another neighbourhood, you can also print more money to buy those debts which means that your monopoly money saves the day. A copy machine to the rescue! Almost like being a superhero isn’t it?
You can also take out a high salary for doing all this to your friends and neighbours. After all, you are the hero with some pieces of papers with arbitrary chosen numbers on them.
But please also remember that in all neighbourhoods there are troublemakers. Like that pesky shop owner at the corner who insists on raising his prices higher then you like. Cheerfully enough you can put him back on the right track with the help of some bikers. And then there may be a couple of females using gold instead of your pieces of paper. They are probably tired of using more and more paper and getting less and less for them, but hey, that’s not your problem. Send bikers on them to! And confiscate their gold!
After this you´ll have a society deeply in debt with exponentially increasing prices and inhabitants not really doing as they have been told. A few businesses has also gone into bankruptcy with more people unemployed as consequence, and a couple of your debt-owners are also having the very same problem. You have entered a recession.
What do you do then… let’s think about it…oh, I know! You print more money!
Then you can use this new money to increase spending to hide any debts as well as use it to publically employ slackers and lazy idiots. And while you are at it, remember to also borrow even more money from other neighbours. Debt is good for you!
Such a game is a great way to spend a couple of years. Especially when you also can play, at the same time, games like: “I know best what to eat, drink, and inhale” – game, and : “Let’s send more printed money to banks in the neighbourhood but ONLY to them”-game. In combination with making the best use of Hells Angels bone cracking skills, you have lots of fun ahead of you. Just remember; keep that smile on your face!
If you don’t get it, this is EXACTLY what governments and central banks are doing. Well, to be fair to Hells Angels and other similar organisations, they would probably do a much better job with their part, but otherwise this is a perfect shortened description of what our money masters and our elected frauds are up to.