What really frightens me

I come in peace

Honestly very few things get my fight or flight reaction going. I’ve seen too much and experienced so much crap in the game of life. Also I am a deeply rational and very cynical individual and all this in combination have made me into a person who psychologists probably would diagnose to have deep emotional problems.

Now, this isn’t as bad as it sounds, and I believe that psychology is crap for the most part anyway. Actually it is a good ability to have because it means I don’t get fooled by any charlatan with a bag of tricks and I can easily discard any sort of “reptiles walk among us” idiocy. I believe in science and I believe in a rational thought process. I also think this ‘ability’ can come in handy if I ever would be subjected to torture.

Death doesn’t scare me, consequently hardly anything worries me. I don’t go around thinking about things I cannot affect such as a sudden reversal of the magnetic poles or the potentiality of an asteroid hitting my car.

However there are things that do attract my attention and disturb me a little bit.

For example I get a shill in my rectum when hearing certain leaders of men talk about the scam of Manmade Global Warming. It is not really the actual scam that makes my sphincter pucker; no it is that there are actually people out there believing in it. And there are a lot of those asylum run-away’s out there, they are probably a vast majority.

I learned today that people exist in Sweden who has a special poop-bag next to the toilet. They also have a net, about the same sort of net you catch butterflies with. Apparently certain families scoop up the poop, puts it in the poop-bag, wipes themselves and then puts the paper in the wastebasket. (Makes you wonder why they have toilet in the first place.) They do this in order to Save the environment! This scares me more than any horror movie. An apocalyptic nuke-scenario cannot hold a candle to scooping-up-poop-families as far as I am concerned.

That animals’ now have court-appointed lawyers in Switzerland is also frightening. Get you to wonder what a hawk’s defense will sound like. “My client is innocent. That dove was clearly eaten by another animal”.

And then we have the newly appointed United Nations space ambassador. Mazlan Othman, a Malaysian astrophysicist who is set to be tasked with co-ordinating humanity’s response if and when extraterrestrials make contact. This appointment in itself is a clear sign that if ever space creatures wander the Earth's landscape in search of intelligent life; it is such a scarce resource that any Alien will certainly leave or blow up the planet to make an intergalactic highway. But do you know what kind of freaks me out? Look at her name. Mazlan Othman… M. Othman… Mothman!

Then we have the super virus Stuxnet. Apparently it is a powerful computer code attacking industrial facilities around the world, but mainly in Iran (they say in passing), that probably was created by experts working for a country or a well-funded private group, according to an analysis by a leading computer security company. It seems that no-one knows where it came from. It’s a complete unknown thing for everyone and experts are called out - paid for by the tax payer - from every dark corner to have meetings over this mystery and mumble that they don’t know.

Now this is frightening stuff.

It is a real brainteaser isn’t it? Who could it be? I am certainly gnawing on my hands in suspense over this one.

200 000 years of evolution and this level of intellect is what we have to show for it? Kind of scary if you ask me.

Like Batman who managed to avoid being frozen to death in a giant ice cream cone thanks to his "bat-thermal underwear" I do have an out. I laugh. Sometimes hysterically and not very convincing, but laughter is nevertheless a way to cope with the madness.

Personally I can’t wait to be abducted. This planet has gone absolutely nuts. So if there are any extraterrestrials out there, please do whatever you want with my anus and brain. Just take me the hell away from this fucked up rock. And if you blow it up and force me to watch I will promise to try to hide that smirk.