Thursday, July 30, 2009

Swines work in mysterious ways

The cute – and kind of harmless – Hog Flu, has been used by virtually everyone by now. Pharmaceutical companies and journalists use it for selling their products, politicians use it to scare people and divert attention from real dangers like the economy or diseases that actually are dangerous like TBC, AIDS, malaria or even regular flu (the "normal" flu has killed 40 000 this year compared to 850 for the Swine variation). Certain companies selling masks, antiseptics and similar products have benefited. With the exception for, maybe, travel agencies and certain touristy places, there seem to be no end to how this piggy flu can be used.

For instance it can be used as a deterrent like the Mexican football player that spitted and blow some nasal secretions at one opponent while telling him he had swine flu. The player in question got suspended for a while. Even if this is not really like throwing blood in someone’s face and saying you have AIDS, I do guess this opponent had a bit of trouble sleeping that night.

In Sweden another fun little flu-enterprise have popped up. Apparently some people pretending to informing about the flu are going around knocking on doors and then, once inside, rob the place. It is entrepreneurial spirits like this that might lift my home nation from the depression in the future, if piggy flu haven’t turned everyone into zombies and killed all kittens before.

And, of course, there are lots of spam and junk-mail containing viruses (the computer kind) being spread from early on and lots of chimpanzee’s in the general public like to open those email that has no known sender and mysteriously pops up in the mail-box. Such an email might contain the chemical formula for ridding the world of the evil swiney flu!!

But these incidents and phenomenon cannot even be compared with governments making the best of this situation. Our leaders to the rescue! We need hot-lines, stockpiling of certain items, emergency teams most be assembled, and, of course, the funniest of all; millions or even tens of millions of people “need to” be injected with a vaccine containing dangerous components that apparently not even been fully tested yet. Yes! Our governments have - yet again - put on spandex and a cape to save us all from the mother of all diseases. Oh, I do not want to be in those pink shoes when our bellowed rulers get their hands on ‘em.

You should all do what I do, step aside, take a moment, inhale some calm and then watch the headless chickens of the human race running around doing this or that. It is hilarious stuff, especially when you are accompanied by a bottle of vodka and some popcorn. People are idiots, and that is fun fun fun…

8 comments:

  1. Swine flu 1976!

    Rerun!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lcJt4jX1Vo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yepp, there are more movies and fun stuff to be seen about this - as you can read from my post back in early April:
    http://thecautionaryrevelation.blogspot.com/2009/04/swine-flu-from-1976.html

    Although not 100% the same virus, it is the same strain that usually is a part of seasonal flu.

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  3. Ni svenskar och europier försöker förgifta oss muslimer! Svin är smutsig djur! Nu ni vill spruta in svin i oss muslimer!

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  4. Nej käre Anonymous, däremot vill några spruta in diverse gifter i din kropp som kanske, möjligtvis hjälper lite grann att skydda mot Swine Flu.

    Om nu denna sviniga variant är så himla farlig och verkligen har något med svin att göra, kanske fler borde bli muslimer? Verkar ju som om de känner till något vi andra inte gör. Kom också ihåg att runt 150 människor dör av fysiska attacker av svin varje år och hur många dör inte av att äta för många kotletter etc.? Svin är hemska djur, synd att de smakar så gott... Mmm... pizza med skinka väntar på mig i kaffeterian... mums...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Swine flu
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    ReplyDelete
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  7. what? Livebolly, what the fuck are you talking about?

    ReplyDelete
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