Thursday, April 2, 2009

End Of World - Apocalypse Nowish

As stated before, you might wanna start looking for alternatives. Now it is starting to get urgent. Time is up. You need to make a choice and stick by it. Don’t think I’m kidding, I’m not. This is completely serious. When that depression, I mean full bloody hell on earth, hits us soon, you do not want to stand there without a plan. We are probably all screwed anyways, but this way you at least stand a chance. Read below and make your choice. Maybe you have some idea that I haven’t thought about, but whatever you would like to do, start planning for it now because when that shit really hits the fan, this is going to go beyond anything we have ever seen ever.

1. Prepare
Even if I’m totally wrong and all those who thinks about the same as me also is wrong, it never hurt to have some extra candles, dried up food packages and similar items at home. There can always be a black-out, a sudden attack from a foreign nation, riots on the streets or maybe some shortage of things if (when) some businesses go down. So this is a good advice no matter what. Keep some extra things at home. And if you can, get guns.

2. Stockpiling
This is about the same as above, but with a more thought behind it and in bigger amounts. Having food and other things necessary to survive several months might however also be kind of risky. When all those people who didn’t think ahead or if that under-fire government starts searching for alternatives you might be in some danger. So you might also start thinking about moving to a more secure location (see nr 3) and/or getting protection from others (see nr 5)And if you can, get guns.

3. Moving away
Moving should preferably be done before the mayhem starts. Flights might be canceled; boats might be without oil, so you need to think this thru. Also your choice of location is important. You should look for a place where you can grow your own crops and/or having a good food source, like the ocean, nearby. This is how far I have come myself. I’m looking at Islands in the southern Atlantic mainly. Some Island where I can grow bananas and make my own vodka. And if you can, get guns.

4. Becoming a welfare case

This you might consider if you are going to stay where you are. But if (when) riots happens and maybe even wars break out and people are crying for help everywhere, the first thing government is going to do is to cut back on those poorest, oldest and most needy. So if you are considering this option, you should be a minority group and have other attributes to use to your advantage. Being a handicapped single black and Muslim woman with children might do it. But you still need that voice and some power so you can show the rest of the suckers that you are entitled to things first and most. Be careful though, sometimes those mobs and governments needs scapegoat (se nr 7) so prepare to adjust your skin color and such. And if you can, get guns.

5. Become a drug dealer

Being a drug dealer is slightly risky thanks to the government’s laws, but also, again thanks to the government, its great pay! And people feeling miserable will need their fix. The only thing to really look out for is other drug dealers. Try to solve this problem by forming a union you can call ‘Cosa Nostra’ or whatever comes to mind. To seek out allies (se nr 1) might also be in your favor. And if you can, get guns.

6. Become a prostitute

The world’s oldest profession is normally not that sensitive for depressions. Sure you might need to lower your standards and charge less, but even in worst times people will be paying for sex. And if you are an adolescence, hey! Great! This might actually be your best choice. And keep a eye on those in nr 7, often closely linked to prostitutes and if you snatch them before they get power; oh mama. And if you can, get guns.

7. Become a politician

Joining politics should be done before the depression. Not completely necessary, but it is good to say: “I told you so”. Helps your credibility when you are pointing a finger at those Jews, Muslims or rich people you have targeted as your particular scapegoat. As long as you can blame someone and deliver a nice sounding solution that is easy to sell, you will be fine. With a bit of luck you might even end up as Fürer and can then have a blast. And if you can, get lots of guns.

Make your choice and please remember, get a gun.


  1. Första gången någonsin jag hittar en schysst blogg via DN. Tack.

  2. Så lite så...

  3. Hallå...du stressar en redan stressad människa! =)