Wednesday, March 25, 2009

You are going to die! Part XVII

Suicide is great fun. I mean, there is countless ways to die and you can pick and choice whatever you like. So whenever you are sitting alone and have nothing to do, try figure out how you would like to leave this existence. Most people like to act in a way that gets them killed, not really intentionally, but they still do it. People all around are for some reason religious and are there a surer way then religion to get burned, excommunicated, start wars or in others ways create your demise? Maybe Government as a collective name for all rulers throughout history is an even surer way of getting killed. So voting, electing and demonstrating for government is another elusive way of getting yourself killed. But there are lots of other things that are much funnier if you want to die. People living on the hillside of an active volcano or insisting on going out on a boat trip with a hurricane at the horizon is great entertainment. People swimming in shark infested waters, climbing mountains or falling down in the shower is other interesting funnies to contemplate on.

But you might wanna leave out those apparent ones. It’s really not so fun taking your own life if millions of others have done the same thing. A shot in the head or turning on the gas seem a bit passé. Hanging has some funny attributes to it, especially if you dangle from the ceiling when the wife comes home or maybe you can hang from the flag post outside a childcare center? Oh, the look on some innocent preteens almost makes it worth it, doesn’t it? Then we have those jumpers. Never really got those. There is a risk you reconsider on the way down and who really wants to be turned into some gooey pile on a pavement? Maybe if you aim at some pedestrians or try to land on top of nice looking bimbo with huge knockers it would spice things up a bit, but otherwise a boring way to go. There are accounts of people tripping and landing in a puddle of water by the road and drowning or that tale of that famous daredevil that slipped on an orange and got an infection that killed him. But those are hard to plan and it takes the fun out of it you arrange such things. Alien invasions or comets crashing down are also achievements that are not really something you can plan. So what does that leave us? Lots of things! There is no end to how you might die! Smoking, drugs, alcohol, over eating, under eating, fires, AIDS, stepping in front of a car, snakes, crocodiles, falling asleep in a walk-in freezer, knifes, putting your head on a train-track, sticking a fork in the electrical outlet, hippos, airplane crash, doing the suffocation thing during sex, walking over a mine-field and thousands upon thousands of others. It’s really only your mind that sets the limit. Too bad most of you lack some interest in this topic and only want to go out to boring way with governments holding the rifle. Use your imagination for God’s sake! Suicide can be great fun and if you are going to leave us, do it in a fun way.

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